A Day in the Life of Filming for PAOTY

Following the initial and incredible call telling me I was being invited to take part in Sky Arts' Portrait Artist of the Year 2025 the Studiovault production team arranged various calls with me in the lead up to the filming date and I was also provided with various questionnaires to complete. One call was to find out more about me and my story in order to feed into the show itself. They also arranged a call with a psychologist, as standard, in order to ensure all the artist's had a point of call for any support they might need during the process.

One by one we were taken away to be filmed with our self-portraits. Only the artist and a single man who wore black gloves, were allowed to touch the self-portraits. They treated them so carefully and I was very impressed.

When out filming with my self-portrait the crew suddenly panicked a bit and physically turned my body around and then used their own bodies to block my view. Apparently one of the celebrities was arriving and I wasn't allowed to see who it was. The production team were very excited about one celebrity in particular and everyone was buzzing.

Finally we were led to the great hall and the filming was about to begin!

I was over the moon to hear Billy Porter's name being read out by Stephen Mangan (who, by the way, is as lovely in real life as you might imagine. His wide smile is also just as wonderful in real life). It was a strange coincidence that I had painted by self-portrait whilst listening to Billy singing!

I quickly abandoned my plan to get the structure down with charcoal first and I bit the bullet and went in with the paint which was the best decision in hindsight. As I said briefly on camera, if something needs adjusting I could do that with the paint. I find painting is like sculpture in that you can continue to mould and refine.

There was an optional break every hour with a full hour break for lunch when they strongly suggest everyone gets up and away from their paintings. I took the opportunity to get the distance I needed to see straight for the second half of the day.

And in no time at all it was done. The first thing to do was tidy the stations up. All our stuff was piled on our trolleys and taken away. Then, one by one, our pieces were revealed to the sitters.

If you're reading this blog then I'm assuming you will have seen the episode already so I can give away spoilers.

You would think that by this stage there would be relief and exhaustion. But I felt very similarly to when I had been paintings under the time constraints. But Billy's reaction to all of our paintings was wonderful. I listened to him saying generous things about Arthur's work first. I had made a conscious decision not to look at anyone else's work throughout the day so it was the first time I'd seen the painting too. When Billy then came to me he didn't say anything at first. And then when he started speaking and struggled to find the words, in my head I was thinking 'plaster on your smile because he hates your painting and you can't let everyone see how upset you are'. When he came out with the immortal words 'you've captured my grief' the tears came flooding down my cheeks. Thankfully the cameras didn't pick up on the sheer amount of silent crying there was from me but I had just attained the goal of all artists - to move someone with their work! His words and obvious reaction to my painting were the best thing I could have hoped for and, in my head, I had won in life - it was the most important artistic moment in my entire career and it moved me beyond mere words.

He cried, I cried, a member of the audience told me they were all crying behind me, and he gave me the best hug - one that I'll remember forever.

When it came to the shortlist announcement I came away from the experience quite in shock. I hadn't expected to get shortlisted, I hadn't even expected to get through to the show in the first place. And though it was disappointing not to get through all of us felt a massive weight lift off our shoulders.

After that the remaining artists just hung around a lot. I managed to get an autograph from Billy (finally being able to fangirl him properly!) and we filmed words about how we felt the day had gone. I'm delighted they used some of what I'd said in the end of the show because by that point I didn't think I was making much sense.

My husband and children had intentionally stayed at home during filming because we agreed it was a day when I had to focus on being Sayani the Artist. Not Shiny the wife and worrying about whether my husband had fed himself. Not Mama and fending off the kids as they attacked my paint box or made a racket. But just Sayani the Artist. So they picked me up from the Battersea Arts Centre at the end of the day, me holding my self-portrait in the same packing as I had sent it to the studio months before.

My kids couldn't have given a flying monkeys about my day. They didn't ask once and demanded I listen to stories of their day which I will remind them off until the end of time. Finally in the car and the kids occupied I started telling my husband about the events of the day. And quick quickly I had burst into the biggest sobbing session of my life. My husband, very taken aback asked if I was ok and I cried 'I'm so happy'. I don't think he knew quite what to think. It had been the happiest day, the hardest I've ever worked, the most validating experience and I can't imagine anything will ever top it.

If you've read to the end of this I congratulate you and thank you for sticking with me  to bear witness.

Has this experience changed me? 100% But perhaps I can go into the artistic changes since the show in another blog post. You deserve a rest.

My one parting gift is a piece of advice for anyone who is lucky enough to take part in the future: Wear a sturdy bra for the mic to be attached to!